Everyone has something they wish they could change about themselves. Their nose, their hair, weight....this list goes on. For as long as I remember, I have stuttered. I don't know if I have since my first words, although I highly doubt it. It used to be a LOT worse than it is now, but there are certain parts of it I cannot seem to conquer. The things that still trip me up are hard consonants, B, D, G, P, T...you get the idea. There are many theories as to why people stutter, but the actual known cause is still unknown. In 3rd, 4th and 5th grade I went through speech classes at school, did the whole talk with a 'mouthful of marbles' thing. Had to read tongue twisters with all the sounds that were hard, etc. Some of it helped, most of it didn't. As I got older, I talked to a lot of people and heard a lot about abuse, and how a vast majority of people who were abused as children developed a stutter. I do not know if that was the cause, but nonetheless. It is still a very big part of my life. Early on, I got incessantly picked on for it, it really was awful.
An employee of mine recently made a remark about how extensive my vocabulary was. I said something about reading a lot of books, actually having read the dictionary, Bible, whatever. Later on, I thought about it, and realized that was only half true. The main reason? My stutter. Having payed attention to what sets it off, I became tired of the constant teasing. I figured out after the speech classes that I may end up stuck with this. So, I read the dictionary. I read absolutely everything I could, and asked questions about words, learning as much as I could. I figured out that by my vocabulary, I could word my way around it. If you pay close attention, you could probably catch me doing it. Sometimes, there's just no way around it, and I have to say the words I try to avoid. That's when I get embarrassed. But, it is funny to watch peoples faces. Some don't change, and that normally makes things easier for me. Others, get a glazed over look, look down at the ground, as if they're the ones who are uncomfortable. And those who try to finish my words or sentences? They get a special look, the "Do NOT ever do that again." look.
One thing is for certain, this has brought me the type of friend I want. Almost all of my true friends to this day have been around since elementary school. This is one of the things that make me, me. An almost 'condition' of friendship. Can you handle this? Will you be the one who gets shifty? Or is Guy the type of person you want in your corner.
Give me a guitar, my hands don't stutter. Give me a pencil, my lines aren't stammered. Give me a paintbrush? As smooth as you've ever seen. Moses stuttered, and went to God about it when he was called to speak before Pharaoh.
God said "And who do you think gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, your Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and what to say." And there my complaints end.
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