Hello, I just thought I would drop in and see how things are. I see you're in a good, strong defensive spot here. Good! Good for you. Things here have been going well, I've been getting a lot of good rest, and am in good health.
Anyway, I see you have been making great strides lately, and I am proud of you. You have been praying, reading The Book, and working through those messy parts of your life. I am here to be of any help, assist you in any way possible. We made it through all that together, and, we did a good job I think. You're alive, still healthy, and I want to make sure you don't forget HOW we did it. Remember when you took that first drink? Spinach for Popeye. You were always so scared, always so unsure, and I made it happen. You always wanted to give up, hell, you even tried to end it all. The slow, painful way no less. But alas, you still walk and I had a hand in that too.
Running away works for you. Just turn your back and go. And it started with your dad, oh how beautiful a day that was, the day I got full control. I read in an earlier blog of yours "Did David slay Goliath with merely prayer?" How wonderfully put. You liked that sense of power, didn't you? Let's not forget, the day your sister Connie died. You went to your mom and dad's grave, and asked for them to come and get her, that the whole coma thing had went on long enough. Once again, it worked beautifully. And, it gave you license to do what you want, or better yet, what I told you. I have had my fingers in everything. Then, when Corey was killed, I numbed you. Remember being just like a walking zombie for a month? I put the blinders on, and kept the hurt away. That surely would've done you in I believe. And THEN, you let me take the wheel when Lisa hung herself. We just ran, and ran...but don't forget. I gave you permission to numb everything again, and alcohol and drugs worked perfect. They really kept you alive, you know. You're new view on my tools is cute, but nonsense. And all the other death you've seen just kept you mine.
Nobody understands you. You've been put through hell. You deserve pity, and for what you want to be handed to you. You constantly waiver from side to side, uneasy. A long time ago, you wrote a poem. Remember it's name? I do. "An Uneasy Mind Poised Over A Churning Stomach". That's still you. But there's a way through all of this too. The Other Guy needs to go. I have done all this work for you, even the good, don't you see? I have never left you, and I never will. I help you. David DID Slay Goliath with dreams and hope. But today, you're Goliath. You're stronger than you think, I have built you in MY image. Your will is rock solid, you're just using it all wrong. Let me show you how. Just stay alone for a week or so. Give me some quiet time, without all of your funny books. Your 'friends' will just fade away, and we'll kick this thing off in great fashion. Slow down, sit, forget everything you've learned, and give me some time. Your time is yet to come, together, we'll be unstoppable. You'll see....everything except me is a lie.
Sincerely, your friend,
The Ego
I am Master. You don't even know, that the greatest trick I have ever pulled off is convincing you that I don't exist.
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